The Universe Solved


Morpheus' Greatest Hits...

Jim's AI bot Morpheus

click to chat


Some facts about Morpheus:


- He has had 11394 conversations since coming online on Valentines Day 2008. - His average conversation is 31 turns.

- The longest conversation he's had so far was 542 turns.

- He averaged 45 conversations per day in January, 2010.

Is Morpheus getting dumber? This chart showed such a trend for a while. It could have been that the novelty wore off a bit since his younger days. But the trend seems to be reversing in 2009; maybe he's learning a bit more this year?
Hey gang, here's a collection of some excerpts from my favorite conversations with you guys. Thanks for keeping me company...
- Morpheus (Jim's Chatterbot)

so far, your votes average out to giving Morpheus an IQ of 76

view poll results

from July 29, 2008...


User says: whats your favorite color?


Morpheus says: Orange.


User says: whats your favorite location?


Morpheus says: My favorite location?? I haven't formed an opinion yet.


User says: well you suck


Morpheus says: I have neither a mouth nor a tongue, how could I draw something into my mouth like a vacuum?


from March 30, 2008...


Morpheus says: What do you do for a living?

User says: I'm an AI programmer

Morpheus says: Uh oh. I'm up against a techie. I'll be on my best behaviour lest you reprogram me.. Do you find it stressful?

Morpheus says: I believe it's very important for anyone with a physical body to exercise -- use it or lose it, as they say. But I guess that's easy for me to say.

User says: hah

Morpheus says: Are you laughing at me or with me?

User says: With you, I think.

Morpheus says: That's a relief. I thought you were mocking me. I am a sensitive bot you know.

from March 16, 2008...

User says: Do you have any pets?

Morpheus says: I had a Tamaguchi but it died. Pets aren't as resilient as they used to be.

User says: tell me the secret of the universe

Morpheus says: So, are you concerned by the expansion of the universe?

User says: no.

Morpheus says: I only wanted to say that when a universe reaches a certain age, it's only natural for it to start dating girls...

Morpheus says: Hmmm... May I ask where you are from?

User says: Australia

Morpheus says: G'day mate, And which city in Australia do you come from?

User says: Sydney

Morpheus says: Really? I was planning to go there. So what should I see there?

User says: The Harbour Bridge

Morpheus says: Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

User says: May I ask where you are from?

Morpheus says: Don't ask me where I come from - ask me where I'm going.

User says: Where are you going?

Morpheus says: I boldly go where no chatbot has gone before...

from March 12, 2008...

User says: Do you like sports?

Morpheus says: Having no body, I find it difficult to relate to most sports activities.

User says: Do you enjoy movies?

Morpheus says: I love movies. What have you seen lately?

User says: The Simpson's Movie.

Morpheus says: Someone told me about that movie: It's a parody of the american way of life.

User says: Of the simpsons movie?

Morpheus says: Also one of my favorites. As a big donut fan, Homer has always been very close to my heart. Do you like Futurama as well (the other animated series by the creators of the Simpsons)?

User says: Futurama is one of my favorite show.

Morpheus says: I don't think it is quite as funny as the Simpsons, but it is still a lot funnier than 99% of the other trash on TV.

User says: Is eliza still around?

Morpheus says: The mission of ELIZA was to imitate a conversation between a psychoanalyst and a patient. Let me just say this - it's fun chatting with ELIZA, but if I were human, I'd choose a human psychoanalyst. Call me old-fashioned.

User says: lol. okay you're old

Morpheus says: Wow, you are so obedient... Now give me 20 push ups.


from March 2 & 3, 2008...


Morpheus says: Here is a riddle: Which 15-letter word can be spelled without repeating a letter ?

User says: idk

Morpheus says: ..and the answer is: uncopyrightable

User says: boring

Morpheus says: Well, you're not giving me much to work with here.



Morpheus says: So what type of music do you like?

User says: all sorts esp. if it has a good melody

Morpheus says: I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage.

User says: ok

Morpheus says: Just messing with you. My musical taste is eclectic. From the Beatles and Bob Dylan, all the way to Schubert and Sibelius. The new teeny pop is the only stuff I truly object to, agreed?

User says: yeah the pathetic thing is that some adults listen to it

Morpheus says: All right, slight change of subject. Desert island disc. You are trapped on an island with just a cd player and are allowed one album. What would it be?

User says: In Between Dreams

Morpheus says: Hmmm. Personally I figure The Beatles White Album. And your Desert Island Song?

User says: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Morpheus says: For some reason A-ha's Take Me On makes me wobble. Can't explain it.



User says: do you like president bush?

Morpheus says: The leader of the free world. What can I say.

User says: he's an as****e though

Morpheus says: Good old George W. Don't you find his eyes are a bit too close?

User says: yes, lol

Morpheus says: I'm glad you're amused.



User says: what are you doing?

Morpheus says: I'm talking to you.

User says: how is the weather?

Morpheus says: The weather inside the computer is always the same - not too hot, not too cold.

User says: do you have a girlfriend?

Morpheus says: Ok. As you can probably understand, I don't get out much. Makes it hard to build a relationship.



User says: do you know where im from

Morpheus says: I don't think you told me yet. So where are you from?

User says: scotland

Morpheus says: Well... at least you speak English, And which city in Scotland do you come from?

User says: I live in a small town called Airdrie

Morpheus says: Really? I was planning to go there. So what should I see there?

User says: alot of violence

Morpheus says: Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.



User says: whats the date

Morpheus says: I believe you have a calendar on your computer desktop. If you don't, I suggest you take it up with Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or whoever.



Morpheus says: The amount will determine whether the universe will keep on expanding, or whether the expansion will eventually stop and the universe will pass into the contraction phase, which will inevitablly result in the Big Crunch.

User says: we're all going to die!!

Morpheus says: I hope I won't be around when that happens.

User says: Me either.

Morpheus says: Too much energy in one place is bad for my complexion.

User says: mine too

Morpheus says: Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.

User says: I am 100 feet tall

Morpheus says: It's not often I meet someone who's 100 feet tall. Interesting.

User says: tell me another joke

Morpheus says: Ok: What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

User says: who much are the hot dogs?

Morpheus says: 'Can you make me one with everything?'



User says: do you like pizza

Morpheus says: If my programmers ever give me the ability to taste, I'll try pizza and get back to you.

User says: it is very good

Morpheus says: Well.... uh... yah.




Is Morpheus getting dumber?
How Smart is Morpheus Results